I wish I'd written this song.  It's such a beautiful example of saying something in a song - without saying it.  Ya know?  ....  Kinda like Eleanor Rigby.  My elementary music teacher was sort of a rebel for a Christian elementary school - and named Mrs. Bird of all things!   We would sit around the turntable that was perched on one of those rolling carts - listening to Eleanor Rigby - and feeling the loneliness of Eleanor, and Father McKenzie too.  This song is like that - for me anyway.

If you get American Songwriter Magazine, listen to it on the free CD that came with your last issue!  The lyric comes alive when you hear the voice!  I'm thinking maybe I'm not supposed to reproduce the lyric without permission...but I'm going to give you just verse one and a chorus anyway.  After that, be sure to find it and listen to it!  Shoot - go out and buy it!

RIVERBANK (Jeff Bates)
If there was ever a morning when the fish might bite, it'll be right now
Any other time we'd done had our lines cast out
Sippin on a jug of mama's sweet iced tea
Catchin them 'ol cat
Why couldn't today be like that?

I wish this was a riverbank
Instead of a graveyard
I wish we were sittin and fishin and this wouldn't be so hard
It was my favorite thing that we used to do
But now we can't
I wish you were here ....
And I wish this were a riverbank

Man, I wish it too.

I played this song for Scott, 'cuz fishin' with his grandfather was always special to him.  In fact, he still uses his grandpa's old metal tackle box.  Yup - he really liked the song.  I knew he would.

Signed,
Nekst Tyme

This morning I entertained half-serious thoughts of "Maybe God is telling me to quit this."  Now where did THAT come from?!  Ever since my songwriters "awakening" in August 2004, I've been absolutely certain of this pursuit - so why the misgivings?

It doesn't really matter why I felt that way.  What DOES matter is that God showed up and set me straight.  I sat down and journaled about what I was feeling, and then within the next hour four things happened to "answer" my questions.  One in particular spoke to me so clearly that I stopped in the middle of it, put my head down, and nearly cried.  God was speaking to me! - in ways that could penetrate my thick skull!  And it's probably a small miracle that I was actually listening.

Why - after all these years - am I still surprised when God shows up in obvious, tangible ways?  I'm a slow learner, that's for sure.

So what else could I do?  I buckled down, wrote some music, sent some email, recorded a work tape, and pressed my son into some guitar work.  This is what I do.  It's my job.  It's my passion.  It's who I am.

Whatever you may be facing in your own life, I pray that you look for God and find Him.  He's always there, but sometimes there are a few weak links involved - weak links like me!

Nearer my God to Thee.  Nearer to Thee.....

Signed,
Detour minned -or-
d. Tur mihnd
(take your pick - I couldn't decide)

Some days I'm excited about the baby steps.  (In fact, you may have noticed I've been trying to "celebrate even the little things."  I sincerely pray it never comes across as boastfulness - if it does, please forgive me!  Just trying to enjoy the journey.)

Some days creativity flows freely.  (adrenalin rush and all)

Some days I feel totally stumped - especially in the presence of greatness.  (My sister, the nurse, told me that a rush of adrenalin can be a good thing for creativity - but too much of it can also be a bad thing.  Aha.  So that's what happens.)

Some days I wonder what in the world I think I'm doing!  I so wish I was a better writer than I am.  ....  And yet, I cautiously entertain the notion that I'm a better writer than I was three years ago, or one year ago, or even six months ago.  In fact, at dinner tonight, one of my kids told me that they thought I was likely a better writer today than I was yesterday.  Oh, I do hope he's right!!   I'm deeply grateful for the vote of confidence...and for my son.

I'd like to skip this one, but....  Some days I feel envious of other writers.  There.  I said it.  (Am I alone on that one?)

Signed,
Uhpps n dounz

Our LifeGroup met this evening - we were studying purpose and calling, as connected to jobs, "obligations", and such.  It would be really nice - wouldn't it? - if everything always lined up perfectly.  As in - I like to do "such-and-such", people tell me I'm good at "such-and-such", I'm working in that particular field, and I'm making enough money to support my family.  But I have to tell you that this particular scenario is more untrue than true for members of our little group.  Lots of struggles - not only with jobs and financial difficulties, but with life-threatening illness.

So then I mix that in with the reality of suffering and persecuted Christians around the world - who most certainly are NOT living out any dreams of "ease".  Their plight is desperate indeed!  (For some reason these brothers and sisters have been in the forefront of my mind the last couple of weeks.)  So when they suffer, and are even martyred for their faith - does that mean they somehow missed their "calling"?  Maybe one of them wanted to be an engineer, or write songs.  Or was martyrdom their calling?

Anyway, it's all pretty unclear.  I'm more and more convinced every day that we absolutely DON'T HAVE A CLUE about the real "stuff" of life!  Even when we think we're in touch with God, and following His guidance, I'm certain that we are actually quite self-obsessed about it all - and missing the big picture.

Am I getting philosophical enough for you?  Well, go ahead and mix in with all of that a sense of time passing too quickly - leaving so much to be done.  SO MANY PEOPLE need to hear about Jesus!  So many siutations that need our help.  So many words that need to be spoken.  So many memories that need to celebrated.  So many song ideas needing to be written.  So many children who need hugs.  So many friends who need encouragement.  ....  And let's face it - this life is just too short.  Just a dot.  A tiny, itsy-bitsy dot.  ....  The unending "line" comes after - when Heaven is our new home.

In summary:  It's a good thing God has this all under control, cuz if it was left up to me?  Well, we'd be toast.

Signed,
Phil Oss Uffee 101

Many of you have prayed for my older brother, Harv.  He was diagnosed with an unusual form of mantle cell lymphoma in late 2006, went through chemo to get into remission, surivived an experimental form of stem cell transplant performed only in Seattle and Germany, and is in the year-long waiting period before he can be around people, get his immunizations replaced, etc.  His blood counts have finally started coming up, and he was just given permission to drive last week.  He would love to find a job to support his family, but everything seems to "break the rules" for where his health is at.  And the job his wife had found has fallen through.  Three kids still at home.

This morning I found out he has some lumps in his neck again.  This is hard to think about - especially because my other older brother died of pancreatic cancer some years back with only 2 1/2 months from diagnosis to death.  I've seen death in my family, but this seems over the top.  Our "broken world" is hard at work. 

I heard today that when you ask God to heal someone, or to give you a job, or things like that, He sometimes says yes.  But when you ask God to draw near to you, he always says yes.  So that's my prayer tonight.

Signed,
Inn Hiz Kare

Certain quotes come to mind over and over when I'm writing.  One of them "guided" today's cowrite for example.   --  You see, often there's this heavy-duty three or four-syllable word that says exactly what you want to say, but it's too unwieldy.  Or perhaps it's a mere two syllables, but just not singable, folks!  (Try it - you'll see.)

Ernest Hemingway once said, "I try to avoid twenty dollar words, but use nickel and dime words in new combinations." 

Now that makes cents!  (Uh...sense.) 

Signed,
Miy 2. Sense Werth

Wow.  I have never - in my entire life - had my butt chewed as badly as I did today.  (excuse my language)  Never.  By anyone.  Not even close.

My Mom is "home", but she's confused, angry, hurt, lookin' for a fight, and "off her rocker".  She is not herself.  And I keep reminding myself of that, but it was still a long and difficult phone call today.  My Dad's condition is early Alzheimers.  Mom's is more of an "organic" dementia.  But I'm not sure which one is worse.

I keep telling my kids, over and over, that no matter what I may say to them someday when I'm old and going downhill mentally - that this is what's true:  I love them!   And I don't mean any of the weird stuff I might say....  (I sure hope they remember that.)

***

On a bright note - cuz I need one about now - I had a song evaluator (pro writer) tell me this past week that my song deserved an A+++++, that it was ready for the radio, and that it was "American Idol's loss" that they didn't pick it for their top 20.  (Thank you!)  That may or may not be true, but it's sure nice to get a "warm fuzzy" now and then....

And so another day ends.

Signed,
Ryte Uhnuthuh  Sawng

My mom is being kept one extra day.  She and Dad are both getting pretty confused lately - especially the last month.  We've been told to check out Alzheimer's units for both of them. 

Dust to dust.

Signed,
Ime Kyne Duh Sadd

Last night my mom was admitted to the hospital with bronchitis - they don't want it to turn into pneumonia.  She'll be 84 later this month.  Her name is Helen and her entire life she's been a poster child for the Energizer Bunny.  Always on the go!   As a mother of five, she also worked full-time in a day and age when that was frowned upon.  (I remember the church elders coming to visit Mom and Dad because they didn't think that was right.)  Not only did she work full-time, but she was a registered nurse and eventually the hospital administrator!  She regularly took "call" for surgery, was "on call" for ambulance runs, went on business trips for administrator conventions, etc.  She also volunteered for more things than I can remember - or probably even know about.  (Kudos to my father for the way he supported her and did his share raising us kids!  I think I'll blog a bit about him tomorrow.) 

Back to my mom.  So in a day when working full-time wasn't the thing to do, she did it.  In a day when bottle-feeding was the new fad, she insisted on breastfeeding all five kids - which I'm thinking must have been no small feat considering her schedule.  In a day and age when the "women" gathered in one room to talk about recipes and fashion and who knows what all - she probably would have been more comfortable gathering with the men.  Living healthy was a priority - which sometimes strikes me as ironic since her brothers smoked incessantly, and more than one has died of lung cancer.  Even now, as Mom and Dad live in a retirement home, she walks several miles every day - a couple of them in the middle of the night because she can't sleep anymore, and some more in the morning when my dad gets up and joins her.  (My sister and I suspect she has better-looking legs than her daughters!) 

She has a servant heart "to a fault" - and true to the heart of a nurse, has always looked to the needs of others and taken care of them tirelessly.  ...  I remember when there was a young lady in the hospital "long-term" because of a car accident and everyone said she was a "vegetable", but Mom would visit her everyday, talk to her, stroke her arm, and make sure she knew that someone cared.  This girl would often respond to my mom's voice - I know, because I went with her and saw it.  And that visit inspired a term paper I wrote on euthanasia, which strongly influences my opinions on that subject to this day.

Also, the younger and more helpless someone is, the more my Mom feels the call to help.  For each of our four children, she came to stay with us for weeks - doing chores and soaking in her new grandchild - and we loved it.  The baby doesn't have to be healthy either.  In fact, if it isn't, I think she loves him/her even more!  I truly believe she would have been sublimely happy for her entire career simply caring for babies who were in hospice care - holding them, comforting them, and loving them into the next life.  (Maybe that's why my younger sister did neonatal care for years - and today does foster care for newborns.)

Old age has slowed her down some, but not much.  I'm praying her hospital stay is short - and that God releases to her current "mission field" at the retirement home in short order.  She has things to do!

Signed,
Wunnuh B. Lyke Hur

Awhile back I pitched a song to a New York company compiling a music database for the Beijing Olympics.  Today I received notice that my song has been selected!  Woo-hoo! 

Now, you and I both know that the song may never end up getting any airtime; and that even if it is played, the royalties would probably be next to nothing.  But it still feels kinda cool - to me anyway.  And I've always enjoyed watching the Olympics, but I may pay a bit closer attention this year.  (No more "tuning out" during commercials and such - although I can't imagine my ears wouldn't perk up of their own accord if something I had written was suddenly playing in the background.)

Sure wish I knew how to sign off in Chinese....

Signed,
Bay Zjhing - hear aye kumm

My family laughs at me because I do NOT notice advertising.  Take TV commercials, for example.  Suddenly everyone's guffawing, and I have this blank stare...and I'm like...uh...what?  It's wierd.  I don't plan to tune out.  It just happens.

But for whatever reason, there are a handful of commercials I do notice - and some of my favorites are the ones about dropped calls.  Party X says something really, really important - perhaps even earth-shattering - and then Party Y doesn't hear what was said because the call got dropped.  You've seen 'em.  Awkward.  Hilarious!

Well that's how I felt on this morning's iSight cowrite.  I love the song and I had so much fun with my cowriter!  But for some reason we kept getting interrupted, and Apple was making up all kinds of stories about what was happening.  "So-and-so has declined your invitation."  I think NOT!  We were in the middle of an amazing CHORUS, for goodness sakes!  What makes the "dropped iSight connection" exceptionally annoying is when your cowriter has just thrown out an idea for where to take the channel, or has thrown out a potentially genius line.... and the only response they get from you is t-o-t-a-l  s-i-l-e-n-c-e.  And at that point they're probably even wondering if you simply pretended to hang up so that you wouldn't have to respond.  AARRGGHH! 

And on a first date no less.

Signed
Cann U Here Mee Nou

It's a double-blog day!  Voting for the American Idol song has begun.  I've listened a bit, and there are some incredible songs in the top 20 - no question about it!

No, unfortunately my song is not in there - but I'm still pretty proud of the way it turned out.  If you have a minute to spare, stop by and listen to Something Bigger Than Me.   www.myspace.com/bevherrema   

Signed,
C Wutt U. Thingck

You have got to try these:    Emerald brand - Cocoa Roast Almonds - Dark Chocolate flavor.

Basically dry roasted almonds with a generous dusting of dark chocolate cocoa powder.  Not "sweet" exactly - but oh so satisfying.

Signed,
Uh Dik Ted

I'll admit it.  I sometimes fall prey to the temptation to "edit myself" as I'm writing.  I so desperately want to discover that perfect line, that perfect noun, the perfect "furniture" - the very first time around.  Of course, that rarely works.  I'm not saying it never works, but rarely.  (However, I have observed enough of such things in pro writers to know that this happens more often as you become a more experienced writer!  Here's to working hard....)

I'll also admit that I'm more likely to "go easy" on myself when I'm writing alone, than when I'm in a cowrite situation - especially when I'm writing with someone of whom I'm in awe.  I want to make a good impression after all!  I want to ooze genius, with no apparent effort.  Is that too much to ask?!!  Sadly, it just doesn't work that way.  And when I expect such things of myself, I tend to shut down creatively and wonder if bringing a good idea to the table is enough to qualify me for 50 percent of the fortune we're gonna make on the song.   (ahh....hope springs eternal)

So I'm challenging myself once again to get my thoughts and ideas out there - no matter what condition they're in - because that's the only way to learn.  Some might even call this "being vulnerable."  (uhh...okay)  Or "daring to suck."  Whatever!!  ....  And then, once those thoughts and ideas have seen the light of day, I/we can decide whether to let 'em stick around, or whether to send 'em packing.  (Who knows?  Maybe they'll pay me another visit - another day - for another song.)

A guy named Scott Adams writes the Dilbert cartoon.  Okay, that takes creativity!  So I'm gonna trust he knows what he's talking about when he says the following:  "Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."

Signed,
Aye Wont Boeth

"Homemade".  Doesn't that word evoke delicious images of homemade pasta, pie crust made from scratch, apple sauce from the apples on your grandma's backyard tree, and all manner of coziness?  No?  Hmm. 

Au contraire!  Perhaps instead it makes you think of homemade clothes that you would have happily traded in for the latest store-bought fashion.  Maybe they weren't quite up to par.  Even...gasp....dated.

Take your pick of definitions.

Well, my sister and her husband sang a song at church last Sunday that I wrote nearly 11 years ago.  It was a baptism song originally, but the message of it so closely fit a special event they were having at church, that my sister asked me a couple of months ago if I would be willing to rewrite the lyric to fit the event.  Sure! 

So I did, I sent them the trax, they practiced it, and they sang it.  ...  A church member came up to them afterward and absolutely raved about the song!  She loved it!  It fit so perfectly!  And, in fact, she could almost see it being made into a baptism song!  (ha)  My sister told her that, interestingly enough, it originally was a baptism song - one that her very own sister had written for one of her own children.  !!  Well....

The woman was truly amazed.  She had NO IDEA!  And she gushed that she just "couldn't believe it was homemade."

Homemade.  Somehow I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that.

Signed,
Uhhhmmmm

The Daughtry song was in my mind last night when I blogged.  It was in my mind today as I traveled.  And then after Scott picked me up at the airport, we stopped at a gas station on the way to our house.  Guess what song was playing as we pumped gas?  ....  You guessed it!  I don't think the "synchronicity" had any particular meaning - other than God giving me a big welcome home hug!  And it felt good.

To complete the "theme", I watched our DVR'd episode of Wed. night's American Idol as I sorted mounds of laundry.  Thankfully my Idol faves are still in the running.

And last but not least - it's amazing how a week in Nashville can heighten the creative senses.  Just on my 2 1/2 hour flight home I came across 5 or 6 song ideas.  (Yes, I wrote them down.)

Signed,
Hohm - Sayf & Sownd

My last night in Nashville.  Would you believe I had something scheduled for every morning, afternoon and evening ever since I got here last Friday night?!  Whew!  ...  I suppose Tuesday evening doesn't exactly qualify - that was my own personal "date" with American Idol.  Some days were highly productive - in a visible way.  Others were less so, but only if you judge by "visible output".  We still made progress, a completed song will emerge eventually, and you just can't place a "value" on relationship building.  Unless, of course, you label it "priceless".  :-)

And lest I forget, WAJ/MFTS was incredible as always!  Sue Smith and Steve Siler (SS and SS) have hearts of gold - and I pray God continues to bless them with honor for their humility, generosity and exceptional talent.  Both of them are true heroes in my book, and they deserve "every good thing" God sends their way!

Here's the clincher of this evening.  I'm eating a rather late dinner at Panera Bread and chatting with my college freshman who is making an S.O.S. phone call to his mama.   The next 6 days or so are going to be brutal for him.  Poor kid.  So I listen, encourage, and then tell him all about my week in Nashville - in an effort to distract him and cheer him up.  ...  When I hang up, this guy walks over - kinda long, greasy hair that he keeps combing through with his fingers - and says, "I'm guessing you're a songwriter."  Uhh.  Hmm.  So what makes you think that?  I already knew of course!  He'd been eavesdropping the whole time!  He tells me his cowriter had bailed on him today, he starts dropping hints about cowriting, he confirms details he's overheard about my "writing week", etc.  !!!  And I don't want to be rude or anything, but this was the kind of guy that made me want to "get outta Dodge" as quickly as possible, and you can bet I was making sure he wasn't following me as I headed for my rental.  ....  To be fair to Music City's reputation - this guy wasn't from Nashville.  He had come to town for NSAI's Tin Pan South.   My experience with "true" Nashvillians (I'm QUITE certain that's NOT a word) has been nothing but positive.

My flight home tomorrow afternoon is totally full - so I may have a chance to get "bumped" and earn a free flight for my next trip down.  As much as I want to get home, I suppose I would volunteer for that....  What's a girl gonna do?

Signed,
Ime Gohinn Hohm