Dwell in possibility....

The last four months of 2009 were pretty rough...for a lot of reasons, but especially in the realm of writing.  We purchased an Ace Hardware in August, and that's when the chaos we now call "normal" began.  I started out thinking I would give Ace my full attention for an entire week - maybe even two.  That should help Scott get settled.  Before I knew it, that turned into an entire MONTH - or maybe even two.  And that turned into four months.  You get the picture.  And it was particularly hard to have this writing "slump" on the heels of my summer "high" of winning at Immerse.  I think there's something normal about that.  Didn't Elijah go into the desert - shortly after his huge high taking on the prophets of Baal - and found himself in such a funk he told God he simply wanted to die?  Yep-yep.  Highs and lows.  It's hard to explain sometimes.

Anyway, I'm now officially on the payroll.  Life will never be the same - for better or for worse.  C-H-A-N-G-E!!!!

And yet, with the new year came a passionate resolution to return to writing.  I've had to rethink what that looks like, but there's no way I'm willing to cry "uncle"!  For example - it takes me 15 minutes to drive to the store.  Opportunity!  Some days I listen to talk radio - some days I call my parents - some days I call my sister, or brother - some days I skip around the radio listening to country, Hot AC, or whatever captures my fancy.  And some days...all too few...but some...I work on a lyric.  Maybe I can't play around with melodies at our piano, maybe I can't hang out in the studio and make a work tape today, but surely I can write a couple of lines of lyric while I'm zipping down the highway in the Ace Smart Car, doggone-it!!  This is a new way of operating for me, but it's part of figuring out the next phase of life.  And you know what?  No one else is going to do it for me.

An extremely important piece of all this is my return to exercising, journaling, and devotions.  These are my lifelines to God - and without them I'm worthless on so many levels.  I am greatly relieved and thankful to be back on track in these areas!  ....  And somehow, as those pieces fell back into place, things started happening in my songwriting world.  Opportunities to schedule co-writes.  A local meeting that features a favorite Nashville connection as a guest speaker...and I'm giving her a ride afterward.  A song that someone, whose opinion a highly value, said they might like to pitch.  The possibility of getting to Nashville this spring, which seemed an absolute impossibility just a couple of weeks ago.  Maybe attending the Dove Awards with my hubby (thx to free tickets from last summer's win!).  The chance to write with (or for) a local singer who's having success on American Idol.  Just a lot of random stuff that I couldn't have planned. 

RANDOM, you say?  RANDOM?!!  I think NOT!  I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future (and the past for that matter).  He has already graciously quickened many moments in my life in this pivotal year of twenty-ten.  And I'm learning more and more that it's not really about whether I write a hit, or a song gets cut, or any of that stuff.  It's about a RELATIONSHIP with God.  There's absolutely nothing as precious as hearing Him speaking, or sensing His presence, or realizing that He really, truly cares about me.  Cares enough to spark a conversation while I'm getting my hair cut that soothes my nerves about a medical issue.  Cares enough to surprise me.  Cares enough to discipline me.  Cares enough to challenge me.  Cares enough to encourage me.  Cares enough to cry with me.  Cares enough to make me laugh.

Three short weeks into twenty-ten, and my emotions have both plummeted and soared.  I've been terrified - and confident.  Depressed - and joyful.  Hopeless - and hopeful.  And God has cared for me through it all.

So very thankful for that.  For Him.  For each of you.

Signed,
Reddee 4 2 mahr O!

If a cashier wishes me "Happy Holidays", I'm just enough of a trouble-maker to respond with "Thanks, Merry Christmas."

This year I've noticed that most cashiers have initiated the "Merry Christmas" greeting!  Not sure what's up, but it makes me happy.

Signed,
Know Grynchizz Uh Lowd

Two posts in one day!  Woo-hoo!  .....  But this is soooo worth reading.  The perfect way to mark my anniversary.

http://onstagesuccess.com/2009/12/theres-no-crying-in-music/

Signed,
Kneed Rode Mapp

Happy Anniversary to me - BLOGGING anniversary that is!    :)    My first blog was Dec. 8, 2006.  I do think I've managed to share a few thoughts over the years that were insightful, or even humorous.  And yet, plenty of it was probably meaningless.   The word "drivel" comes to mind.  It is what it is, ya know?

Random thoughts:
*  I don't blog as much as I used to.  Seems like no one does.  I miss that.  Who knew Facebook could command so much time and attention?
*  I'm a much better songwriter than I was back in 2006.
*  I've been given some great opportunities and enjoyed smidgens of success.
*  I'm just as confused as ever about where I'm supposed to "be" with all this.  Realizing that may never change.
*  Scott and I now own an Ace Hardware.  Didn't see that one coming.
*  More and more aware of how broken I am - and how totally dependent on God for everything.  Zero control.  Continuing to work on the "worry" and "trust" categories.  Thankful God is patient.

If you happen to read this, then I thank you for stopping by - and I pray God blesses you in your life with all good things.

Signed,
2 Hymn B awl Glow Ree

Reading the Book of Esther.  Finding myself newly and utterly amazed at the series of coincidences in her life.

Yes, yes - a.k.a. God's timing. 

Looking forward to Heaven where God will show me how that kind of thing was playing out in my life too. 

Signed,
Blynd 4 nouh